Posted in Uncategorized

I LOVE PAPI

Untuk pertama kalinya di hidup saya kehilangan orang yang sangat berarti. Kalau dulu ada peliharaan yang mati perasaan tuh sedih banget dan gak bisa bayangin nantinya kalau kejadian yang ini terjadi, but now, it was happening. I lost my papi.

Sedih tapi karna sudah siap dan tau kalau ini yang terbaik jadi berusaha ikhlas. Mungkin sedih karena biasa bersama-sama dan ada hal-hal yang harusnya I would do it with him.

7 tahun sudah papi sakit dan 2 tahun belakangan ini semakin parah.

Mei 2014, afal pertama, masih ingat hari Sabtu jam 10 an malam kita bawa papi ke IGD, 3 hari di ICU, 7 hari total dirawat. Diagnosa ginjal papi bermasalah. Kami tidak terima keadaan papi, dan mencari opini dokter di 3 RS yang berbeda. Dan hasilnya semuanya sama, papi harus mulai cuci darah. Kami sekeluarga sepakat untuk mencari jalan lain dan kami pergi berobat ke herbal di Bandung selama setahun. Bukan kunjung sembuh hasil lab terakhir dari 1 ginjal yg rusak sekarang menjadi dua2nya.

Mei 2016, Josh masih berusia 6 bulan di kandungan,papi anfal kedua. Kami sekeluarga harus terima kalau papi harus cuci darah / hemodialisa / HD. Rasanya dunia kiamat untuk saya, karna  itu artinya seumur hidup papi harus menjalani HD. Gak boleh nangis  depan papi, saat pertama kali lihat dan temanin papi utk HD. It broke my heart.

Mulai saat itu papi 2x seminggu HD, 2x seminggu cek up ke dokter, dan karna pakai BPJS, alhasil papi 4x seminggu ke RS. Kami saja lelah, apalagi papi yg menjalani. Minimal 4 jam harus HD dengan semua persyaratan makanan  yang sudah ketat dari dokter.  Sedih banget…

September 2017, kami hampir kehilangan papi, tapi Tuhan masih kasih kesempatan. Dari hari Ultah Josh pertama sampai 7 hari ke depan papi beda dari biasanya, papi semangat, suka ngobrol dan banyak bicara sama kami. Papi mau ke Taman Safari, tp saya gak bisa, karna baru pindah ke kantor baru yang kebetulan ada training. Ternyata setelah itu, keadaan papi semakin drop. 10 hari papi dirawat di RS untuk operasi alat HD yang ditaro di leher dan lengan. Kami minta ke Tuhan kasih umur papi 1 tahun lagi, karna Oktober hari ulang tahun papi. He answered YES.

Desember 2017 papi sebenarnya harus operasi alat lagi, tp dokter bilang nanti saja setelah Natal. Jadwal operasi tanggal 5 Januari.

5 Januari 2018 papi ke RS untuk persiapan operasi. 9 hari papi di RS dan ternyata hanya 2 hari pulang ke rumah, karna setelah itu papi anfal lagi.

16 Januari 2018, jam 00.30, kami bawa papi ke IGD, 5 hari papi dirawat di ICU. Pindah ke ruang perawatan, kami kira papi sudah bertambah baik, tp ternyata keadaan papi semakin lama semakin menurun.

31 Januari 2018, pertama kalinya setelah sakit sekian lama, papi berdoa dan sudah menyerahkan dirinya ke Tuhan, bahkan papi uda pesan ke mami untuk apa yg dia akan dia pakai di hari terakhirnya. Ada perasaan lega bercampur sedih, karna sy tau artinya tidak lama lagi.

5 Februari 2018, sy liat papi ke RS, papi bilang tolong tungguin  dan bilang kalau mau pulang.

2x HD terakhir papi tidak berhasil, papi selalu gak sadarin diri. Jadi sy berencana untuk besok temenin papi, karna sy tau papi akan pergi.

6 Februari 2018, 00.15 bapaknya Josh telpon minta mami datang ke RS. Jam 00.45, dapat kabar papi sudah pergi.

Gak sempat tungguin papi, gak sempat ke Taman Safari.

I thought I won’t cry anymore while write this, because I knew, he already happy now. But I really missing you so much papi. You never been angry to me since I was a kid. You love me and treat me well than other, yes, I felt that.

No pain, no hurt, no sad, no problem anymore papi. You’re in heaven now. See you again papi.

This picture taken before he had his last operation. My last picture with him while his alive.

28 Oct 1950 – 06 Feb 2018, RIP my dear lovely Papi, I LOVE YOU PAPI.

Advertisements
Posted in Uncategorized

My Sweet Gen Gen

Born on June 13, 2003, her name Juanita Cassandra Black or the nickname is Gen Gen. She has a unique body, small not tall or in bahasa we called KATE.

From her, I got many cats.

She died in her sleep in 14 years old. I didn’t at home at that time. 2 weeks after papi left.

Thank you Gen Gen for your presence in our family. Now you can meet Zepy and others in Rainbow Bridge.

IMG-20140513-01695.jpgIMG01529-20111210-1827.jpgIMG-20140602-01849.jpgIMG-20140807-02152.jpg

Posted in Uncategorized

December Remember – 2017

Now that New Years is coming up I thought this post would be good timing.

There are many things to be thankful during this year, personal life, family, and job.

Well, let’s make a short:

  1. I saw the people that hurt me in the previous company got their “karma”
  2. I got the new job as my wish, is what I called the dream came true, 09-2017
  3. I lost my baby on my womb that only 2 months age, RIP Caerwyn Gabriele, 19-11-2017
  4. Papi declining his health for the last 3 months
  5. I decided to block some unimportant people, 06-2017
  6. George start walking on his 15 months age, 12-2017

Bad and good things in 2017, all is given by God as a part of His plans in my life. I knew my God is good, always good.

In 2018, I want to…

  1. Saving more, less shopping of course
  2. Lose weight, I really hope!!!
  3. Reading bible for George everyday
  4. Spend more time with George
  5. Celebrate Christmas and New Year outside Indonesia
  6. Have my own house
  7. Love God more and have intimacy with Him

Close the year with pray and open the New Year with pray to God as well. I can’t walk alone and be success without God beside me.

Yes, I need You God next year as I need you in this year.

Thank you for all Your lessons, and I’m ready for everything that You already prepare for me, good or bad, yeah, just be still God.

Me, Kat, Wishing you 12 Months of success, 52 weeks of laughter, 365 days of fun, 8760 hours of joy, 525600 minutes of good luck and 31536000 seconds of happiness.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2018!

Posted in Uncategorized

In a Rush

I heard this song when I was college in 2003.

I don’t really know the meaning, I just like the music.

And today when I hear it again, I miss those moments.

Lets sing…

It came over me in a rush

When I realized that I love you so much
That sometimes I cry, but I cant tell you why
why I feel what I feel inside

How I try to express what’s been jugglin’ my mind
But still can’t find the words
But I know that something’s got a hold of me

It came over me in a rush
When I realized that I love you so much
That sometimes I cry, but I cant tell you why
why I feel what I feel inside

Baby, some day I’ll find a way to say
just what you mean to me
But if that day never comes along
and you don’t hear this song
I guess you’ll never know that…

It came over me in a rush
When I realized that I love you so much
That sometimes I cry, but I cant tell you why
why I feel what I feel inside

And when I say inside, I mean deep
You…

Posted in Uncategorized

Hi Mami, Hi Bunda

Happy Mothers Day to mami and my self for today, Dec 22, 2017.

The second year for me to celebrate this special day. I hope George and his siblings will love me as I love my mom.

It is so amazing to be a woman yet a mother. But believe me, with or without child, all woman are special.

Love your mom not only for this date, every day as long as she lives.

-kat-